Random Acts ... of Kindness

Photo by Donna Godsell on Unsplash

This week's invitation is to practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty. That phrase was popularized some years ago; Google searches still yield many results. Saying it this morning, what caught my attention was "random acts." The phrase that whispers in my mind is "random acts of violence," not kindness.

It's old news that bad news sells papers and gets "likes." There has been a lot of horrible news recently, so much so that what was an upbeat invitation to kindness has changed into a grim whisper in our minds.

I challenge you this week to be kind and pay attention to random acts of kindness around you. They are still there. As we notice them, we can shift how we see our world. Let's do that work that needs to be done to heal our communities and our dear Mother Earth.

Respect - The Art of Looking Again

Photo by Dave Webb on Unsplash

Do you have any idea how long it takes to have a first impression? Ten seconds? Four seconds? It actually takes only one-tenth of a second according to research reported on the Association for Psychological Science website. For us to decide that quickly means there have to be assumptions, expectations, judgments already in place -- all that we already know before we even have a look.

The image above is actually mostly a painting. A real chair has been strategically placed to enhance the illusion that a boy is reaching toward a hole in the wall. The boy isn't real even though our first glance suggests he is.

Much of how we relate to people in the day-to-day activities of our lives is based on impressions, expectations, stories about how they are. This week, I invite you to look again, that's the underlying derivation of "respect." Rather than rely on snap judgments, take the time to really see the person in front of you. If you talking with them, consider listening more than you speak, asking open-ended, compassionate questions coming from a sincere curiosity to know more about who they are.

This isn't necessarily an approach for every conversation you have. It is a lovely way to engage in at least some of them.

Here's to taking a second or third look, to showing some respect.

Before Getting Down to Business

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Has the picture made you hungry? It does look rather delicious. I wonder if the person who ordered it took time to see and thank the person who brought the food to the table?

Some years ago, on a tour in Bali, I stayed at a large hotel. Without exception, every staff person I met  -- on my way to the restaurant, at the front desk when I needed something, or simply going out for a stroll -- said hello and asked me how I was. It was different than our routine "Hi, How are you?" "Fine, thanks." They paused to see and appreciate me.

Returning to the states, I've done my best to carry this practice into my daily work. Throughout the day, when I see a colleague that I want to talk to about something, first, I greet them and check-in for a bit. Then, I get down to business. It takes a minute or so, sometimes more. When I'm in a rush, part of me just wants to get things done. Then I remember, people aren't things, Each one of us matters and deserves to be seen and appreciated.

That's this week's practice. It would be lovely if you left a comment on your experience. Namaste.

Stand for What You Believe In

Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

This past weekend there were two more mass shootings. No matter how often they occur, we must never consider them "normal." People shopping for back to school are not meant to be targets for someone's hatred, no matter what.

So, this week, I invite you to let people in government know what you think about gun violence. This blog won't tell you what to write. It will tell you how to identify your elected officials, locally, statewide and nationally. Please, sit for a bit, quietly, and touch into your deepest, dearest values. Then ask yourself, what would my core values have me say to people in government? Having listened, with compassion and courage, let them know.

Why is this is a kindness blog? One of the reasons for this blog is to remind all of us that we can make a difference, and it doesn't always take huge, impactful actions. Sometimes, many voices raised in loving concern -- kindly and clearly -- do get the attention of those in leadership roles. Please, take the time to stand for what  you believe in.

US Senators: http://www.senate.gov/states/CA/intro.htm

U.S. House of Representatives: https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative

California Legislators:

http://www.legislature.ca.gov/legislators_and_districts/legislators/your_legislator.html

Sonoma County Government:

http://sonomacounty.ca.gov/Elected-Officials/