Share the Welcome of Kindness

We have been practicing kindness together for three months now. Most of our practices have been personal, quiet commitments we made to ourselves, our communities, our world. Today, let's invite others into the practice.

Our logo is familiar to you as it's part of our blog layout. It also appears in a bilingual welcoming poster created by Liz Larew. Here is the link where you can download a copy of the poster. 

This week I invite you to print a few copies and show them to businesses where you shop. Ask if they would be willing to display the poster in their window, letting everyone know they are welcome. And kindly accept their response, whether yea or nay.

Let me know how it goes. Blessings to all.

Just Listen

"If you would just listen to me..." Feeling seen and heard is a fundamental human need. I believe much of our struggling and conflict comes from wanting to matter, wanting to be seen and heard. That's why, this week, our practice is listening. Here are some tips from Radical Kindness by Angela Santomero:

• Turn away from and turn off electronic distractions like computers, tablets and smartphones. Focus on the person you're listening to, not other people and activities around you.
• Lean toward the person and look into their eyes, without threat or aggression.
• Listen to their words. Think about their ideas. Concentrate!
• Don't interrupt, even if you think the person speaking is wrong or you disagree. Don't fall down that rabbit hole of distraction.
• Listen to the whole person, including expression, tone, body language and mood.
• Ask clarifying questions, to make sure you're understanding what they're saying. It lets the speaker know your listening and you are clearer on what they said.
• Don't think of how you'll respond while they are talking. Just listen.
• When the person is done talking, take a breath. Don't jump right in. Let their words settle a bit -- there's also a chance they aren't quite finished, their just pausing for a moment.
• Be curious about the speaker's point of view. Remember listening is just that, to be curious about someone else's perspective. You don't have to convince them about your beliefs nor do you have to agree with them. Simply be curious about someone else and give them the gift of being heard.

If a person goes on longer than you can take in what they're saying, it's okay to ask for a pause, to check in to make sure you are clear on what their sharing. When you sit down to really listen to someone, it's also completely all right to set some ground rules like let's each talk for 4 or 5 minutes, with the only interruptions being clarifying questions. Or if the topic is important, schedule a time to talk about it, rather than cramming it into busy schedules which are in themselves distractions.

 

Your listening gifts another person with your presence, your respect, and your interest. As Mister Rogers would describe it, "It's you I like. Right here, right now. Go one, I'm here. I'm listening."  

Photo by Nick Scheerbart on Unsplash

Fear is a positive acceptance that you

will experience what you dislike. Faith is a positive acceptance that you 

will experience what you do like. 

But they are identical.

The only difference is in the direction.

                                                          Ernest Holmes

Fear or faith? Both are feelings based on throughts about our experiences. Why is it that when we aren't sure what is going to happen, we often assume the worst? Years ago I read Feel the Fear ... and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. She pointed out that when we don't know, it's just as likely that something good will happen as something bad. 

That's this week's practice: just for this week, let's avoid "awfulizing", fearing that, assuming that, the worst will happen. Rather than act out of fear and despair, let us seek those qualities and values that are still tucked away within everything. Let us act from those motives, of faith, of love, of courage, standing for what is good, right and true, knowing the power of these feelings lights our way through fear into other possibilities. 

One million plastic bottles each minute

Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash

The picture in this blog isn't trash at a municipal dump. It's debris floating in the water. In July 2017, Forbes magazine reported that around the world 1,000,000 plastic bottles are purchased every minute. Ninety-one percent of those 1.4 billion plus bottles each day are not recycled. So much plastic ends up in the ocean that World Economic Forum experts forecast that by 2050 the plastic in the ocean will weigh more than the fish.

Sometimes, it seems easier to grab a bottled water. Could you remember to bring your own container instead? Could you ask theaters and concert halls to offer alternatives, even paper cups that patrons fill from a jug or faucet are gentler on the environment? For a week, can you get by without water in a plastic bottle? Let's give it a try.

Thank You Notes ... Your Mother Was Right

Photo by Howard Riminton on Unsplash

As a child, every time I received a gift, my mother made me sit down and write a thank you note to the giver. It didn't have to be long and elaborate, but there was no getting out of doing it.

Recently, I was reminded of how important this simple practice is. A few weeks ago, I attended a lovely dinner party. The food was delicious, the host created a lovely atmosphere, and we all enjoyed the rich conversation. I saw the host a while later. She came up to me rather uncertainly and asked me what I thought of her gathering. She told me that she hadn't received any thank you notes or emails and was concerned that people didn't like her party. I reassured her that it had been wonderful -- and apologized for not letting her know. I'd fallen out of the practice my mother nagged me into.

Although we think that people know how much we appreciate them and their gifts -- like my friend's dinner party -- when we don't say thank you, they may assume they didn't do a good job. So, just like my mother told me, take time to write a card, or at least, to send an email. It matters.